My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I have demons in me.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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