Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
