I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
