he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
