There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
