ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
