she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
