In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
