We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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