6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
