turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
