Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My hand turned me down
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
