Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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