I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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