Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
