We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
