Whod you bang
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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