Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
