You're a womanizer and a bitch.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
