Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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