So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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