evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
you never un-have a 4some
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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