Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
