I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize