So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He better not be in your backpack
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
