I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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