That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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