He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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