the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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