i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
