i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize