pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I am available for nakedness
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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