so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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