Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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