I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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