he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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