I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
time to smoke my breakfast
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
