How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
