Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
