i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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