my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
