i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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