hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
