I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
