Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
