Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
wow bdsm is so cute
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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