somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize