You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
