I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
