speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
