the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize