i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
