i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
