my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
