i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize