so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
