Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Randomize
