tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize