I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
