Already got asked if we're dating
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
