you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
