im six kinds of drunk right now
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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