i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
