i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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