I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
