I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
