Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
my poor anus
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
