why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
