he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize